Do you ever find yourself repeating the same thing over and over again, and your child isn't listening to you? You could tell them ten times to do something – put their toys away, brush their teeth, get dressed, put down the iPad -- and they either didn't hear you or didn't listen. So, you tell them ten more times, louder and louder. As your voice is raising into a higher pitch you start getting frustrated and turn into an angry monster.
Most parents have been in a predicament where they have had to leave a store because their child would simply not listen. I understand, it gets really frustrating and you don’t have a solution other than panicking and walking out. Well, I’m here to help you out. As a professional babysitter, I see this problem occur a lot. You need to really listen to your child, before you expect your child to listen. You need to truly listen and understand the needs and wants of your children.
I understand that it can be challenging to juggle so many responsibilities at once, but your main responsibility should be your children. Parents need to understand that when children don’t pay attention it's because they feel as if no one is paying attention to them. If a child feels as if they are being ignored, they will begin to yell, whine, cry, shout, and throw a fussy temper tantrum that may last for hours just to get your attention. Peppa Pig might be the last thing you want to discuss with your children towards the end of the day, but listening to your child talk about Peppa Pig can be very important to them. When your child feels as if you care they will become more understanding as to what your expectations are. When children feel cared about, respected by you, and understood, they’re a lot more likely to hear and listen to what you have to say. Below are some tips to get your child to listen to you.
The Use of Single Words
Do you find yourself constantly telling your children to clean up their toys, but in the end you are stuck cleaning up all of the Legos and play dolls? Kids usually know what they’re supposed to be doing, they just need a simple reminder. Try to use a single word to get your child to listen to you. Rather than arguing with your child to put their toys away try to start saying “toys.” Point to the toys and give them a certain look that means business, but yet respectful. After you say the single word… give it a minute. Try the tactic out… See if it works. Try it out after dinner and say “Plates.” Don’t go on and on with the nagging or they will eventually tune you out. Just use one simple word to get your point across. Try to use the tactic more than once. Base it off of repetitiveness and consistency.
Offer choices to your child. Always keep in mind that making threats and punishment doesn’t work, and when you think they do; they will eventually fail to work. A child will become more stubborn and hard headed rather than feeling apologetic for not listening. When you make the child feel as if they are partaking in a decision they will feel more accepting and they will listen better. Please make compromisable choices.
Get on Their Level
When you are trying to communicate with your child, please do not scream or shout at them. Shouting causes tension and anger. Before you assume they are not listening to you, try to see if they are distracted and zoned out. Children are easily distracted and sometimes tune the world out just to focus on trying to get the blue colored Lego. Children under the age of 14 are easily distracted by everything around them. For younger children, kneel down in front of them and make eye contact while speaking to them. Grab their attention by simply tapping their shoulder or hand. For the older children, try to aim for eye contact and a sign to know that they heard you.
Help Them Understand
Helping your child understand why something is being said or done is one of the best methods of getting your child to listen to you. Help your child understand your simple rules and request. Give your child a reasoning as to your request. “Because I said so,” is not a good enough reason and may lead into a huge temper tantrum. "Because I am your mother and I said So," is also a horrible answer. They are well aware you are their mother and becoming overly dominant is not the answer. Nobody likes to do a task when they don’t know the reasoning behind it. Try to use good reasoning to motivate behavior.
Wrong Way: “Put your shoes on we will be leaving the house in 5 minutes and we can’t be late or your teacher will be mad.”
Proper Way: “We will be leaving the house in five minutes to go to school. Please put your shoes on so you’re not late to your class. Your teacher will not like it if you’re late.”
Raising a child has its ups and downs. In order for your child to listen to you, you have to ensure you are listening to your child. When children feel cared about, respected by you, and understood, they’re a lot more likely to hear and listen to what you have to say. Consistency is a key factor. The most important tip is to mean what you say. There are many more tips and tricks to get your child to listen to you, but just make sure you are remaining calm and consistent. If you have any more tips and tricks to add, please feel free to comment below! All parents go through a hard time… you’re not the only one! Sharing and discussing experiences will only help other parents!
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